Couples Therapy
Every couple fights. The problem is when the fights stop going anywhere: the same argument on repeat, one of you pursuing while the other shuts down, or a slow drift into logistics and silence.
I work with couples using the Gottman Method, an approach built on four decades of research into what actually predicts whether relationships last. I'm Level 2 trained through the Gottman Institute.
What this can look like
- The same fight on repeat, with both of you able to predict every line
- One partner shutting down mid-conflict while the other escalates to be heard
- Criticism, defensiveness, or contempt creeping into everyday conversations
- Roommate mode: the logistics run fine, and the connection is gone
- A big transition (a move, a baby, a career shift) the relationship hasn't caught up to
- Rebuilding after trust was broken
How I work with couples
A structured assessment first
Gottman work starts with a thorough intake: a joint session, brief individual time with each partner, and research-based questionnaires. By the time we set goals, they're based on data about your relationship, not guesswork.
Conflict skills that hold under pressure
You'll learn to spot flooding (the physiological overwhelm behind shutting down), take breaks that actually work, and replace the patterns the research calls the Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Rebuilding the friendship
Lasting repair takes more than fighting better. We work on the foundation the research points to: knowing each other's inner world, turning toward each other in small moments, and building shared meaning.
What working together looks like
Everything runs over secure telehealth, which most couples find far easier to schedule than getting two busy calendars into the same office.
My job isn't to referee or decide who's right. It's to show you the pattern the two of you are stuck in and give you the tools to change it together.
From the blog
Common questions
Do you see couples over telehealth?
Yes, all couples work is via secure video. It works well: you're in your own space, scheduling is easier, and if you're in different locations for work or travel, we can still meet.
What if my partner is skeptical about therapy?
Common, and workable. Skeptical partners usually soften once they see the method is structured and practical rather than an exercise in assigning blame. And if your partner won't come yet, individual work on the relationship is still worth doing.
Is it too late for us?
I can't answer that from a webpage, and I'd be suspicious of anyone who claimed to. What I can say is that couples routinely arrive certain they're done and leave with something better. The assessment gives us an honest read on where things stand.
Does insurance cover couples therapy?
Sometimes. Coverage depends on your plan and how it handles couples sessions. If you're hoping to use insurance, email me at info@ovhpsychology.com before booking and I'll help you figure out what your plan supports.
The pattern can change
A free, confidential 15-minute intro call is the easiest first step. Bring your partner, or come alone to start. Telehealth across 40+ states, in English or Spanish.
Written by Dr. Olivier van Hauwermeiren, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist, NY & WI, PSYPACT